TalkingApes

The episode starts with the superheros walking around the streets trying to help people. Picking up garbage, helping people cross the street, stopping people from Jaywalking (more on jaywalking later)… etc.

At one point Major Victory helps some ladies across the street then moonwalks back.

Stan calls the heroes on their communicators, (which are blackberries with the branding scratched off) and summons them back to the lair.

Once there, the increasingly annoying Dark Enforcer tells Stan that he’s talked to the heroes’ family and friends, and that “they’ve been lying through their teeth”.

Regina, Creature’s friend busts her, saying she’s not environmentally friendly, citing a time where she tossed something out of a hotel window into a fountain. Stan calls her hypocritical

Feedback’s wife comes on TV, said she’s fed up — he has another side of himself, but that when he’s at home, he’s messy, inconsiderate and a slob. Stan says kids look up to heroes, and that the message that sends to them is wrong.

Fat Momma’s momma comes on, talks about how FM has not always been proud of her weight, and tried to lose it. Stan is confused, which message is the right one? “That doughnut is hard to swallow,” said Lee.

Austin’s ex-co stripper talks about Major Victory’s old job, said that his name used to be “thong man”. Major Victory said it’s because he wore flip-flops (Called thongs by some people).
Lemuria’s friend Brandy says that she’s infamous for strutting her stuff and dancing on table tops.

Stan retreats to gather his thoughts.

Creature, Major Victory and Fat Momma were singled out by Stan Lee, while Lumeria and Feedback were sent to get the trash can.

Major Victory was singled out due to his taking off his cape for the old ladies to walk across. Stan says that’s an indication of his stripper past.

Fat Momma was singled out because Stan is concerned that she went on a diet once, and that she isn’t comfortable with herself.

Creature was singled out due to her littering, and the fact that earlier in the day she broke the law — she jaywalked.

dum dum dum!

The one that must leave the lair is… Creature!

“live hard, and love harder,” Creature says as she leaves the lair.

The final four are Major Victory, Lemuria, Feedback and Fat Momma.

and so begins perhaps the most absurd part of the entire show — spending time with the inmates. I don’t know if these are actual inmates or not, however, they look like actors IMO.

Stan gives them a covert operation. They are playing “the secret test game” — they have to: hug an inmate 3 times, brush the hair of an inmate 3 times, sit on an inmate’s lap 3 times and rub the inmates shoulders 3 times.

The Heroes have to sign a waiver that they could die because of this.

Lemuria goes first and draws a scary looking woman who is shackled. Her goal is to sit on the inmate’s lap for 10 minutes. Lemuria tries to sit on the woman’s lap, and the lady flips out. Mission not completed. Lemuria apologizes for disrespecting her, and acknowledges that she will probably be eliminated.

Fat Momma is next, and draws the same lady. Fat Momma’s task is to brush the hair out of the inmate’s face 3 times. She manages to complete the task, to the dismay of the inmate who repeadily states, “don’t touch me, man”.

Major Victory draws a humongous bald man that gives him the stank-eye.

The guard tells Major Victory that he shouldn’t touch the man, despite the fact that MV has to rub his shoulders 3 times. He tells the man that he’s got magic hands. The man tells him to not insult his intelligence. MV takes off his cape ( a major no-no ). Despite the man not wanting to be touched,

Feedback asks the guard to take the guys handcuffs off… and he did. They talk about why the man is in prison. The man says he killed 4 people, feedback says his dad killed himself. Feedback then asks the man for a hug. 1 hug down. 2 hugs down. Feedback promises to write the guy, and gets another hug.

Definitely actors.

They head back to the lair for another elimination.

Stan notes that Major Victory took off his cape and gloves, says that a superhero never takes off his costume, and narrows the choices for elimination down to MV and Lemuria.

Reluctantly, Stan eliminates Lemuria.

Stan heaps praise on the final 3 heroes. Major Victory assures Stan that he will keep his clothes on at all times (except while going to the bathroom).

A teary Fat Momma thanks Stan for appreciating her.

Feedback says when Stan says he’s proud of him, it’s like his father is proud of him, and that since his father wasn’t there, Stan Lee helped raise him through Spider-man.

EXCELSIOR!

technorati tags: who-wants-to-be-a-superhero, scifi.com, super-hero, tv, reality-show